What's up Doc?

So I woke up this morning like a school child getting ready for the first day of Kindergarten. Ha! What a comparison. Yes, I was a little nervous since I had not seen my oncologist since March.

After reviewing my CT scan results done last Friday, he happily reported that there is no new growth but the liver lesions have not shrunk either. He felt that was good news but I just stared at him since I went through all this s**t with Femara with no success. So he decided that he will start me on Tamoxifen and that may work better. I will repeat scans in three months and if no improvement - THEN I AM BACK ON CHEMOTHERAPY!!!!!! Dread!

The MRI of the knee shows no cancer but fluid build-up and osteoporotic changes as a result of the Femara. He said that the Femara destroys the joint in some cases [yuh tellin' me] but I should stop it [sorry Doc - done that] and start on the Tamoxifen. Now I know everyone has heard of the problems with Tamoxifen: Clots clots clots - all kinds of them: Heart Attacks, Strokes, etc. But that would not happen to me cause I will begin my walking frenzy and start on daily Baby Aspirin! Plus the power of prayer!

So I am taking this one day at a time [I am allowed negative comments now and again, right?]. Still confused in my mind what I should do with my life. The doc told me that it takes two to three months for the Femara to be out of my system which means 'old lady walk' until then. I really want to work - for financial and personal reasons. I became a nurse for a reason. My next option is to do volunteer work or be employed on 'as needed' status but I am screwed with the latter. Once I start to work, I will lose all my current empolyer disability benefits and to regain them I should work Full Time for at least 6 months to one year.

Well....... in the meantime, I will continue as is - a victim of a screwed up healthcare system. The new laws need case managers and community social workers to help us navigate through the system but that takes time. Will these changes affect COBRA and all other disability benefits - whether government or private? Maybe I know too much so confusing my poor brain. Already I know that there are not enough community social workers to go around.

Let me stop babbling and start taking my new anti-hormonal pill.