What's up Doc?

So I woke up this morning like a school child getting ready for the first day of Kindergarten. Ha! What a comparison. Yes, I was a little nervous since I had not seen my oncologist since March.

After reviewing my CT scan results done last Friday, he happily reported that there is no new growth but the liver lesions have not shrunk either. He felt that was good news but I just stared at him since I went through all this s**t with Femara with no success. So he decided that he will start me on Tamoxifen and that may work better. I will repeat scans in three months and if no improvement - THEN I AM BACK ON CHEMOTHERAPY!!!!!! Dread!

The MRI of the knee shows no cancer but fluid build-up and osteoporotic changes as a result of the Femara. He said that the Femara destroys the joint in some cases [yuh tellin' me] but I should stop it [sorry Doc - done that] and start on the Tamoxifen. Now I know everyone has heard of the problems with Tamoxifen: Clots clots clots - all kinds of them: Heart Attacks, Strokes, etc. But that would not happen to me cause I will begin my walking frenzy and start on daily Baby Aspirin! Plus the power of prayer!

So I am taking this one day at a time [I am allowed negative comments now and again, right?]. Still confused in my mind what I should do with my life. The doc told me that it takes two to three months for the Femara to be out of my system which means 'old lady walk' until then. I really want to work - for financial and personal reasons. I became a nurse for a reason. My next option is to do volunteer work or be employed on 'as needed' status but I am screwed with the latter. Once I start to work, I will lose all my current empolyer disability benefits and to regain them I should work Full Time for at least 6 months to one year.

Well....... in the meantime, I will continue as is - a victim of a screwed up healthcare system. The new laws need case managers and community social workers to help us navigate through the system but that takes time. Will these changes affect COBRA and all other disability benefits - whether government or private? Maybe I know too much so confusing my poor brain. Already I know that there are not enough community social workers to go around.

Let me stop babbling and start taking my new anti-hormonal pill.

Bleh Day

I was sure in a cross mood today!!! I know why but I behaved like a child and acted it out instead with everyone else except the person who deserved the wrath of my energy. Oh well, such is life.

Testing Testing Testing

Well, tomorrow I go for my follow-up CT Scan of pelvis and chest and an "urgent" MRI of my knee per my oncologist to see what's bugging. Both will occur one after the other at two separate facilities.

I had to misbehave a little today with my insurance company representative when the clerk wanted to schedule the MRI two weeks away. I had to remind her that the request is 'urgent' per the doctor's instructions and two weeks is not urgent in my book. She called me back a couple of hours later and reported that the insurance company will send the referral to an outside provider and this is how I got the appointment for tomorrow.

I tell you, this is a struggle but I will beat it and all the negativity that comes with it. Monday I will see my oncologist who will give me all the good news about my progress. *BIG GRIN*.

I had a loooooong day and now my head hurts. I also got a new pair of false boobs [prosthesis] today from Nordstroms. This stuff cost over $300 ea but I received a referral from the insurance company since I heard that it is a benefit under my company plan [COBRA allows your policy to remain the same]. I hope the idiots do not bill me cause this will be another fight. Oh well!

It is only for some time

A friend of mine lost her husband in the last few days to colon cancer and today we said goodbye to him. What a great woman she is to have held on without losing Faith. However, the time came when he had to say goodbye and found his seat in Heaven.

Psalm 30:5
Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Hang in there Marva James, we all love you and will be there for you. RIP Arthur James. So young to go but God has a plan for all of us.